The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste

To say that I've had a few things on my mind lately would be an understatement and while I'm certainly not the first person to feel overwhelmed by "life" I wonder how many people have nightmares about it.  Especially nightmares with such vivid, memorable images -->

Yep, that's how I pictured my brain last night. Is it any wonder I can't focus or sleep for that matter? It doesn't help matters that I'm not feeling well and I don't have time to be sick. The Wedding is 8 weeks away!!!  This past week was particularly stressful since I found out that the location for the rehearsal dinner will NOT be ready in time after all. Luckily we have a plan B, but even that is not set in stone yet. Everything that I need to do this month hinges on finalizing this. As an aside, plan B will be a little more expensive so now we're getting serious about budgeting for this event.

Oh, and speaking of budgeting . . . never, never, never ask "what else can go wrong?"  Someone [God?] might think you're issuing a challenge, not making a rhetorical statement!

So, did I mention that Lucy the Lab tore her other CCL and needs surgery again; that DH has a torn bicep tendon that is acting up and he may need surgery as well? And that's just for starters.

On the plus side, I've lost 50 lbs on my diet so far.  Of course, not being able to keep any food down helps, but whatever! Now my short-term goal for the 8 weeks before the wedding is to lose 15-20 more lbs.  Can I do it?  What do you think? All I know is that I'm not buying my dress for the wedding, or any other clothes for that matter, until mid September or later if I dare!

Summer Here and Some are Not!

So, I don't know where June went. Really. It was a crazy, hectic month but with no commitments so I expected to get lots done. I did, in fact, get a lot accomplished, but not the things I planned on doing. 

Just about the time that my commitment to the family next door ended (they moved to CT at the end of May) we decided to buy all new carpeting and hardwood floors for the house. This involved a lot more work on my part than I ever imagined. At the same time we decided that some rooms needed painting before they got new floors, so DH and I took on that project as well. We got everything done and the house put back together (for the most part) by July 4th. A lot of stuff is just piled in closets waiting for me to organize and also to get rid of more things we don't need or use anymore. We already have a garage full of furniture waiting for a good home - someone else's home!

On July 9th following a whirlwind visit from our oldest son and his fiance, I started my new "job." Here's a picture of my new "boss." Yep, I'm crazy. I'm keeping a friend's baby now that she's gone back to work full-time. I've always been a sucker for babies and I was thrilled that someone would actually pay me to watch over their precious little one. So far this doesn't feel like much of a job, but I'll keep you posted.

In addition of course there's the wedding planning. Thank goodness I'm only responsible for a rehearsal dinner, but since a lot of the decor, etc. will be DIY there is much to decide and much to do and only 12 weeks to do it in before the big day. I do tend to obsess about these things and I know that I could probably go on Etsy and buy someone else's handmade place cards and table decor and favors, but I've got to have some outlet for my creativity and this year, the wedding is it! Most of my time so far has been spent researching, gathering ideas and making samples. I'm just now starting to purchase my supplies. I promise to post pictures after the big event. But this week the work begins. My daughter and family will be here for a week and she and I are making peach jam - about 60 jars. Yikes! Hope everyone likes peach jam!! 

Motivations and Milestones (continued)

It's been a while since I mentioned my personal weight loss program. I say 'personal' because I'm not following any commercial programs, like Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig.  The only requirements on my plan were: no alcohol, no candy, no bread and exercise 3-4 times per week.  I started this plan at the beginning of Lent, but early on I decided I would continue the regimen after Lent and until I had lost at least 50 pounds.

Well, I have lost 30 pounds so far!! Woo Hoo!!  But, I can tell that I am at a crossroads of a sort.  There are too many days that I am tempted to NOT work out and while I have stuck with my diet restrictions, there have been days that I have eaten too much, or things I should not have.  I know it is not uncommon to reach plateaus on a long-term journey like this.  And I know that I can't allow momentary lapses and temptations to derail my plan.

So this week, I've decided to step up my work-out schedule - go to the gym more often, increase the length of time I work out, etc. and kind of start over with the diet, you know, go back to what was working in the beginning. I know that I can do this, I just need to believe in myself again and not lose sight of the long-term goal.

What have you found that works to move you off the plateau you're on in your own journey?  It might not even be a weight loss journey.  Maybe it is a spiritual journey or a self-improvement program of another type.  If you have any tips, I'd love to hear them. Thanks for stopping by.

More 'Stuff' or Anyone Up for Some Spring Cleaning?

[This was written yesterday but I was not able to post it until today when our network/TV/computers were back up and running. Well at least something is finally back up and running!]

I’m sitting on my back porch as I type.  Luckily, it’s a beautiful day to be outside.  Sometimes summer can come early in May, but this year we’ve been blessed with cool temperatures and low humidity.  I wouldn’t mind if this weather continued until July 4^th, but alas, the hot and humid days of summer in the south will probably be here all too soon.

But not today; and that’s a good thing, because I can’t really be indoors today.  The new carpet is being installed and there’s nothing I can do to help. We spent the weekend removing everything we own from all the rooms upstairs and putting it all in the living room/dining room (with the help of our daughter and grandsons).  We’d already emptied furniture in the downstairs rooms for our new hardwood floors and in my last post I talked about all the “stuff” one accumulates in 28 years of living in the same house.  Well, that was nothing! 

So I’m looking at 90% of everything we own, except clothes, piled up in the living room and dining room and, on the one hand, it doesn’t look like that much really.  I mean, shovel out those two rooms and we could make a clean start!  On the other hand, it seems like a LOT of stuff, especially when I think about having to put it back where it came from.

So of course, we won’t be putting it all back where it came from! J  This seems like a perfect time to clean out, give away, sell or toss those things that just aren’t that important to us anymore.  It will probably take a month to go through this process, but we are committed to trying.  There are still a lot of things we’ll keep, partly because we do have room to keep them and partly because we do have children who might want them someday.

Here is my problem though.  I’m not a very organized person.  I try, God knows I try, but I just can’t seem to find a way to store things that make them easy to get to when they’re needed or that prioritize what I need and use and what I don’t.  Our daughter is very good at this and I’m hoping that she can help in this process but otherwise I may need a professional.

Got to practice on this stuff though, ‘cause the basement and all its "stuff" awaits!

UPDATE:  So the beautiful spring day on the porch meme has been shot to heck!  Come to find out: 1) they didn’t include the downstairs bedroom in the carpet quote and contract, 2) said bedroom has dry rot in one corner which has to be repaired before any carpeting is installed, 3) installers didn't bring enough carpet to put in an additional bedroom and the front stairs and finally 4) Lucy the lab needs to have her teeth cleaned, has a few “masses” that need to be biopsied and is getting cataracts – oh and 10 weeks post-op from surgery on one of her knees, she will probably need surgery on the other knee sooner rather than later.  Hmm, I think that’s all. 

As my DH would say, “Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?”

Stuff!

Let me just say that I am not a hoarder! I can still see the surfaces of my dresser, desk and coffee table.I can see my bed and chairs and dining room table. I can make my way from one end of my house to the other without a map and without injury! So, I am not a hoarder. 

  >>>THIS is a Hoarder>>>>

I will admit to being a “collector” of beanie babies (cough, cough), music, books, magazine articles, photographs. I will acknowledge that I have accumulated a lot of STUFF in my lifetime, but everyone does that, right?

You probably won’t even be surprised to know that there are over a million and a half Google results for the search term ‘Psychology of Clutter’. Even before I knew that there was such a term, I spent a lot of time trying to psychoanalyze my clutter issues and my disorganization disorder.

I recently read a blog post by Jane Brody at the New York Times. She has been writing a series about her own de-cluttering efforts, “Making Progress Against Clutter”. The motivation for her attempt to control her clutter was the scheduled re-carpeting of several rooms. I can relate! We are finally getting new flooring after 27 years in this house, and I am faced with the prospect of moving a lot of stuff in preparation for the installation. In the process I am looking at things that have been stored in drawers and china cabinets and have not seen the light of day in many years, and I’m thinking as I examine these things: Why did I buy this?  Why do I still have this? Will my kids want this?

Many of these items are pretty – which is why I bought them – but I never use them. Many items were handed down to me by family members – but they’re not much in style these days. Do I need 8 moving boxes full of old photographs when I only display 15 or 20 photos? How many glass vases or candlesticks does one household need? Why do I take things that other people are getting rid of – even though I don’t need them? Sigh!

These questions are worthwhile to ponder, but alas, I don’t have time. I’ve got to move a lot of “stuff” from one room to another these next couple of weeks. I do promise that I will examine everything carefully before putting it back where it was stored. At this stage of my life I think a lot about what my family will do with my stuff when I’m gone. I don’t worry that they will give it all away. I worry about what they will think of me for having kept so much stuff for so long. I’m reminded of the parable of the rich fool (Luke 12:13-21). Do I really want to spend my time and my money and my energy building bigger barns to store my stuff? 

How do you deal with clutter?  Is it an issue for you at all?  Let me know your secrets and thanks for stopping by.

Twenty Years Ago

Last week I took my NIV Study Bible to a bookbinder to be re-bound. [The original binding, genuine faux imitation leather, was showing its age]. So tonight, when heading out to my weekly Bible study, I had to find another Bible. I grabbed one of my favorite translations, the Good News Bible, from the bookshelf. I have not used this version in a long time, but I remember buying it and using it for some of the first Bible studies I participated in as a young wife and Mother.

I flipped through the familiar and well-worn pages of this paperback and found the usual assortment of papers, bulletin fragments, etc. that I often stuff in my Bible. A couple of those were dated - 1992 - so I guessed that was the last time I had used this particular Bible. Because I'm a whiz at math, I quickly realized that 20 years had passed and of course I was immediately struck by the thought of how quickly they had passed too!

I've spent some time trying to remember what was happening in my life and in the world that year. You can go to any number of websites to research the latter. I will only share a few of the former memories with you. I do have a written journal, but alas, I didn't start that until 1997, and of course "blogging" was a thing of the future. [In fact, in 1992, the phrase "surfing the Internet" was first coined, but the White House did not yet have e-mail servers and you could not order pizza on-line!] In 1992 my boys were 12 and 10 and I had been selling Discovery Toys for 10 years; plus my Daddy was still living. I'm sure 1992 was a good year, although I can't remember many details, but the next year my world would fall apart.

Three events occurred in 1993 that changed my life - my Father was diagnosed with lung cancer and died within four months, my husband retired from IBM after a 27 year career and our children left private school and began attending the local public schools. I might have been able to deal with one of these things, but the combination of these three events sent me into a deep depression. In thinking about them now, I realize that all three events had something in common:  they were a full frontal assault on my sense of security.

Of course my Daddy represented the security I'd known since childhood. He was still a powerful force in my life, and I was very close to him (and my Mother) even as an adult. My husband's IBM career represented our livelihood, our financial security. We weren't close to being able to retire permanently and our children were still young. How would we survive economically? And although I knew that private school was a luxury that we probably couldn't afford for the boys indefinitely, I was not prepared for the move to public schools in 1992 - with one son in 5th grade and the other starting middle school. Private school had been a safe and secure cocoon for me and the kids for 7 years. I wasn't ready to leave the nest!

Eventually, of course, I was able to come to terms with the new circumstances of our life. I still miss my Daddy, but mourning cannot and does not last forever. We experienced several years of financial  uncertainty as well as some new job situations that were hard on our family in other ways. I went back to work, first part-time and later full-time. The boys did not adjust immediately to their new schools, and there were many days when we all cried, but in hindsight, at least one of the boys adjusted very well. I still have guilt feelings about the other son in light of his subsequent difficulties with school.

But, all-in-all, we coped. We adapted. We survived. And maybe we were a stronger family as a result. One thing is for certain, God brought us through all the changes and upheaval. He always does. And I know that He is the real soucrce of my security. I may not have known it then, but I know it now! It's never too late to learn that lesson is it?

Diet Update - Motivations and Milestones

I promised to post a few milestones on this journey - what I'm calling my "Last Chance Diet". My first milestone was giving up three food groups for Lent: bread, candy and alcohol.  [What? Those aren't food groups?] This has been easier than I thought it would be - only with God's grace I know. Then, DH and I joined a fitness center at our church.  Since both of us have been off this treadmill, so to speak, for a while now, it has been somewhat painful to start exercising again, to be sure. I also wanted to be diligent about writing down everything I ate, but hey, two out of three isn't bad, right?

The result: I've lost 12 lb. since the beginning of Lent.  Now that's what I call a motivation! My next challenge is continuing my Lenten diet restrictions even after Easter. I plan on continuing at least until the fall family wedding, but I guess the real question is, can I make this a life-long commitment and should I? Specifically I'm asking, can I give up bread, candy and alcohol for the rest of my life? Should I? I can make arguments both for and against. If I can give them up for a season, surely I could learn to live without them forever, but do I need to be legalistic about it? I'm sure there are other things I should give up eating too.

One consideration is whether I can simply limit my intake of these things. For example, I knew when I gave up smoking in 1979 that I could not ever smoke even one cigarette again. I knew how addictive that habit was and that I would never be able to stop at one cigarette. I'm afraid the same might be true for at least two of the things I've given up for Lent! [Can you guess which two? Ha!]

One more thing that I will put in the "motivation" category - I was riding in the car with one of my grandsons about a month ago when I told him that I was giving up alcohol, among other things, for Lent.  He immediately looked up at me with the biggest smile on his face and said, "That's what I've been praying for Gran."

Really? Really? How can I disappoint that boy? Sigh!